Having discovered how unreliable everyone’s memories are, I no longer trust anything I remember.
When I was a kid, I had a photographic memory and could also recall any conversation I’d had, even months after the event.
Now, I can barely remember the names of my characters in one of my books and characters from other books keep trying to creep in the new book.
So now I have to question if I really did have such a great memory when I was a kid, or did I just make that up to feel better about myself. If it was the later, it didn’t work, for I recall my brother pummeling me to the ground several time as I recited conversations we had in the past to prove him wrong on whatever we were fighting about. (We were constantly fighting—or so I recall.)
You see my problem, right? Once we start questioning the foundational memories of our lives, where does it stop?
Okay, not REAL feral cats, just parents who were terrible at parenting. My mother was a bloody nightmare. Alcoholic, mistrusting, vitriolic, destructive…etc etc etc. Given my siblings agreed on these points, I’m thinking I remember that right.
But surely she was nice at times? Yet, I don’t have a single memory of her being so. However, one of my childhood diaries makes mention of a moment of loving her, so she must have had her nice moments, only I don’t remember any. I may have refused to remember the nice moments to protect my heart from her, for I barely survived with a solid barrier of mistrust and anger between us.
However, I remember a lot of great times with my dad. Yes, he did have the most frightening temper of anyone I knew, save my brother, who inherited his temper, poor fellow. When my dad wasn’t smashing some uncooperative device into smithereens, hitting some poor old man for driving too slow, or going off from one of the other thousands of triggers that could set him into a freaking madman, he was really funny, loving and playful. He would create really weird bed time stories that always had Uncle Sam as the villain robbing the hero blind. (If Dad were alive, he’d be a Tea Partier). The reason I call him a feral cat is because he had no sense of child safety and it is a wonder any of us survived. In total, he helped raise 5 kids and somehow managed not to lose any of us due to his poor childcare, so maybe he wasn’t as bad as I remember. I did learn to be fearless from growing up under his dubious care, because in my memory he seriously lacked safety sense.
Once, when I was about six, a doctor declared I had no chance of making it to adulthood. By that point I’d already required stitches under my chin when Dad let me ride in the tractor bucket, had my nose broken with a sickle, the muscles and tendons in my left ankle sliced by gardening shears, and gotten countless long rusty nails in my legs. Once he let us swing by a rope into the river, only there were big rocks to kill us if didn’t release and fall at the right time. Almost lost my little sister on that one. And these are only the incidents I remember. I’m pretty sure there were plenty more bleeding moments. My older sister has her own list which includes a lot of scary events before I born.
(Now, child welfare would have gotten involved. Back then, the doctor just made a joke about it.)
In The Hardest Love, Sam starts out hating his mother and dad. However, upon talking to others about their parents, or lack thereof, he discovers that he’d had the best childhood of anyone he knew. Why was he so angry at his parents? He’d been loved and cared for as a child. He still had those memories.
The Hardest Love
A Long Road to Love Series
By Liza O’Connor
THE HARDEST LOVE IS TO LOVE YOURSELF.
Sam has a new theory as to why his relationships with women never work. The problem is he’s constantly falling in love with women that he rescues from serious situations. He reasonably believes saving one from great harm should result not only in good sex afterwards, but never ending gratitude.
But it hasn’t been working out that way.
Sam’s conclusion: damsels in distress are incredibly ungrateful. So he decides the next woman he gets involved with will not require rescue. She will be strong and self-reliant.
Only problem: he’s never met a woman like that.
They do exist Sam. They really do. And just maybe, she’ll just rescue you instead.
“We will deal with this matter later. Sam, you are wanted elsewhere, and since you are off duty today, Miss Agnes, may I suggest you leave the campus and sharpen up your martial art skills so this incident never needs to repeat itself?”
Mars managed to remove her beautiful smile with his reprimand, which pissed Sam off. Before he could comment, his former boss gripped his arm and marched him down the hall.
“You didn’t have to be such a jerk,” he muttered.
“I let her off easy.”
“How’s that? She’s off duty and I’m neither a staff member nor a patient. I’ll admit I may have chosen a less than appropriate place to make my move, but damn it Mars. I really like her.”
Mr. Stick in the Mud stopped in a hall painted in bright yellow and challenged his declaration. “She’s not anywhere close to your type.”
“I agree. There’s no physical reason why I should be interested in her, but I am.” He ran his hand through his hair. “She makes me want to smile. Kind of like this hallway, and the kittens and puppies on the cafeteria wall.”
His captain’s eyes softened as he let out a long sigh. “If that is the case, you may see her on her days off. But on her working days, you will not see her until she is off the clock and you will leave her room by 9 p.m. so she will be amply rested before her shift begins at 6 a.m.”
“I’m serious about the time constraints,” he warned.
“I’ll abide by them.”
They continued down the cheery hall. “If it’s of any value, I think you two are well matched. However, if you dare look at any other woman in my employ, I will send you from the house. I have this place running much too well to allow you to run havoc among my female employees.”
Released May 5, 2015
A Long Road to Love
The Hardest Love
Other books in the A Long Road to Love series
Worst Week Ever
“Love this book and couldn’t stop laughing from beginning to end.” 5 stars – Alves – Amazon
Oh Stupid Heart
“Be warned though, this book is completely different from The Worst Week Ever. Yes, there is still humor, dry wit, situations that you would think…NOT AGAIN but this one humanizes Trent more.” 5 stars – Brian’s Mom – Amazon
Coming to Reason
Once again, Ms. O’Connor has written a brilliant book about the complexities of relationships, good and bad. Again, to me, the book is the best break up book EVER and it left my heart singing in the end. Best.Book.Ever…
Climbing out of Hell
“In typical @Liza0Connor fashion, crazy things happen which make you laugh outloud.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Liza lives in Denville, NJ with her dog Jess. They hike in fabulous woods every day, rain or shine, sleet or snow. Having an adventurous nature, she learned to fly small Cessnas in NJ, hang-glide in New Zealand, kayak in Pennsylvania, ski in New York, scuba dive with great white sharks in Australia, dig up dinosaur bones in Montana, sky dive in Indiana, and raft a class four river in Tasmania. She’s an avid gardener, amateur photographer, and dabbler in watercolors and graphic arts. Yet through her entire life, her first love has and always will be writing novels. She loves to create interesting characters, set them loose, and scribe what happens.
FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT
LIZA O’CONNOR & UPCOMING BOOKS:
Blog and Website: http://www.LizaOConnor.com
Facebook Profile: http://www.facebook.com/liza.oconnor.90